Surprise

More and more, I've been waking up and thinking it's strange that I'm a computer programmer. It makes no sense to me since clearly I'm a musician. Add to that the three weekly rehearsals, and the practicing after work, and planning for auditions is loosening the last few tendrils of "normalcy" left in my life. I'm nearly completely someone I used to be, or someone I might have been, or someone I will soon be. It's a strange feeling.

I'm meditating again. Work was getting to be way too much ridiculous stress, and I was running short on spare doses. So I forced myself into the beginnings of a routine, and back to meditation. I'm up to 10 minutes twice daily, with the morning round actually in half-lotus. By the evening I'm tired enough that I just lie down. I even take several brief breaks during the day at work.

I just finished the first Doctors Symphony concert. I'm starting to sound like a horn player again. And it's so much easier now. I used to hit a plateau when I would pick it up again, but this time I'm so aware of everything, and of what to fix, and how to fix it. I've managed to consistently improve now since the beginning of August, and now with my new-found schedule discipline, it's much more consistent improvement.

I like this. Maybe it will last long enough for me to get into an orchestra.